About this blog

On top of the world after hiking a mountain in upstate New York, a few summers ago.

Welcome to my blog! I write about awakening consciousness, the supernatural, manifestation, past lives, intuition, karma, the transmission of ideas through forms other than words, self empowerment, and self love.

My closest friends call me AJ. I am a nature gal, love hiking, camping, sitting on my back lawn on summer nights listening to crickets and cicadas. I love the smell of fresh cut grass, old tents, old attics and old books. I enjoy drawing portraits, playing piano and guitar, and writing poetry. I'm interested in stepping outside of myself and experiencing as much of the world as possible. Living through the eyes of other cultures through travel or reading, stepping into the minds and experiences of others.

I am married to a wonderful man named Karl,* and we live with our mischievous cat Maggie in a small town here on the mid east coast in the US.  My field of expertise is teaching, and my last post involved teaching in a gifted and talented school for kids in NYC. I'm currently a stay at home wife, or as I like to see it, I'm temporarily hiding out from the world, recovering an illusory loss of my magic and power. I'm healing from four years of chronic fatigue and adrenal fatigue. I might also mention I'm getting over psychological, emotional, religious and physical abuse in childhood. Several months ago, I went through an awakening where I started letting go of a life time's worth of trauma and toxic beliefs. The world around me now feels like it is becoming more of a safe, healthy beautiful place. Well, more than it did. Everything has changed, or is changing, and I feel like a young child rubbing her eyes and seeing the world for the first time. 

The inspiration behind my blog title "I am Phoenix" comes in part from the book "I am Phoenix: A Poem of Two Voices" by Paul Fleischmann. It is the story itself behind the phoenix that is intriguing, though. According to legend, a phoenix has the power to transform itself from its own ashes after burning up in flames. The process is symbolic of the transformation of human consciousnss.

Here's the story of the phoenix as told by Ken Ferlic from "Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity." http://ryuc.info/common/recreating_oneself/phoenix.htm
"The Phoenix is a mythical bird that consciously consumes itself in flames to be reborn new from its ashes. It is important to our creative endeavors in that it is one of the myths which probably best describes the transformation that our ego must undergo in a creative endeavor. The phoenix is the symbol of the transformation of human consciousness and our creative spirit that each of us must undergo to one degree or another to create what we desire. The method that is used is our choice but the process is inescapable.

 "There are several versions of the legend of the phoenix. They all seem to place the origins of the phoenix in Egyptian mythology. It is seen as a mythical bird that lived in the Arabian Desert. What is interesting about the Phoenix is that when it saw death draw near, or when it choose, it would consciously consume itself in flames to be reborn and rising new from its ashes young and beautiful to live another cycle. To do so, it would make a nest of sweet-smelling wood and resins. It would then expose itself and its nest to the full force of the sun’s rays until it burnt itself and the nest to ashes in the flames only to rise rejuvenated from the ashes.

"Legends vary. Some say the Phoenix consumed itself every hundred years or so. Some say every 400 to 600 hundred years. Some legends say it rose rejuvenated from the ashes in three days. Some say it just rose from the ashes others say that it would arise from the marrow of its bones. In any case its essence was seen as very old and indestructible. Only its form would change. One version of the legend says the Phoenix was about the size of an eagle graced with the features of a pheasant. Others say the Phoenix was half eagle, half pheasant.  

"The phoenix as a symbol of our creative transformation. The Phoenix Myth is an ancient myth that describes the overall process that is encountered before, during and after a creative transformation. It describes the transformation that each human has the option to choose to take and/or be forced into by death at some point in time. It is said each human has the option to choose for the mythical bird does consciously consumes itself in flames to be reborn new from its ashes. Our problem is that we are not sufficiently awake and aware to see that death is near so we do not adequately prepare for what we need to face. But it needs to be understood, the death to which we refer is not always physical death. There are many deaths we face at many different levels of our being and many different times of our life.

"As long as we see ourselves as a human being who is born, lives and dies, we will miss the power of the phoenix myth. However, if we see ourselves as our conscious awareness and begin to observe that awareness, we will see that our awareness never changes. What changes in the form or filter that we use to experience Creation. We will see there are many levels and dimensions to this filter of which viewing Creation through the interpretation of a human brain is only one such filter. If we observe carefully, we will see there are an infinite number of such filters, some more important than others in any given moment. Yet, our awareness is capable of choosing any filter it desires if it is aware and awake to the existence of the filter. In the end, the phoenix myth is a description of the process of changing the filter we use to experience Creation.

"The phoenix myth is in many ways the door way to our freedom as beings of unlimited creativity to create the reality we choose. It provides a key understanding of the creative process. Something old must be destroyed and transformed to make room for the new. So there always will be a sacrifice of something. The question is whether or not we hold onto what needs to be sacrificed.

"The fire that destroys the nest we created and consumes us can be experienced as a dark night of the soul that literally and figuratively burns up your ego. However in this same process there is a tremendous heat energy released in the fire that is available to transform any existing structure. That energy being made available is what we feel both as the Kundalini arising as a huge rush of energy and unfathomable bliss and joy that accompanies the rush of energy. The rush of energy may also be accompanied by a sexual awakening.

"The more areas and aspects of life we wish to transform/recreate and/or experience our unlimited creativity and freedom, the deeper and boarder the transformation that will be required. Similarly, the more expansive the creation you wish to manifest, the greater the transformation of our life. To free ourselves the cage of our own making to access our unlimited creativity and claim our birthright as the unlimited and infinite creative beings that we are is the most significant change we will need to undergo. But, it needs to be noted, that, as a being of unlimited creativity, we can create a gentle phoenix at each and every level of our being."
*     *     *     *     *     *     *

My life right now is in a state of flux, a state of transformation that is quite positive and gives me much hope. I feel like a phoenix who is shedding its old ways, burning in its own ashes, then coming to life again.
I enjoy getting to know my readers and would love if you wrote to share anything on your mind, or just to say hello!  My email is mimsycally@gmail.com.

May you be touched by a spirit of light and love while reading my blog. Namaste!

*Names of family members, friends and acquaintances mentioned in this blog are changed. Even though many of these characters actually want a little time in the public light, I'm giving 'em pseudo names. Hee hee.


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  2. I really like your blog. Have suffered from CFS for a while, and somehow push myself through every day. -Jude

    1. I'm so glad you enjoy the blog here! I hope you see much improvement in your health as you go along. Sincerely, AJ

  3. I hope that you are on a continued journey to restoration of physical and spiritual health (I say that loosely since I read that you're unchristian now). I'm out of ATI myself and its a huge challenge to see the wrongness of the "right" way raised, but the freedom in that is wonderful. wishing you peace.

    1. That's awesome you're enjoying the freedom of an opened mind! I haven't written here on the blog in a long time, but my health has been restored about two years ago and I'm now enjoying good health and spiritual freedom... it's amazing! So grateful. Wishing you much peace as well!

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