Perspective

I realize that I have been identifying myself recently by focusing on what I'm not, instead of what I am. I've been writing about what I don't identify with, instead of what I do identify with. I've been divulging lots of details in my last few posts about venomous people I no longer identify with, but in doing so I was giving gobs of attention and energy to stuff that doesn't resonate with me anymore. Stuff that was draining, instead of energizing.

And so, with that being said, I've moved on. I focus now on people, things and ideas that resonate with me, and that promote healing and love.

My sister has moved in with us, and I'm really happy she is here. She has the same beliefs as I do, and so it is refreshing to have someone like minded to share ideas with. She has a plethora of audio books and kindle books that are fascinating. It's like a whole new world has opened for me. I feel  energized in my mind and spirit. Things make sense in the world. I am at rest. I remember how cool it was when I read the Harry Potter series. It was like a different world opened up to me, and a part of my brain went, "Whoa. So cool." Well, take that feeling times 100, and that's where I am now. Except it's not just a fictional world in a book.... this is real. Happening now. To me. To all of us. Whether you know it or not.

We have a new kitten, Maggie. She is super cute. She loves everybody in the house, especially Karl. Odd thing is, he doesn't pet her or talk to her. He usually just picks her up and tosses her if she's biting him too much. But she goes straight for his lap, curls up under his arm, and just lays there on him for hours on end in the evenings. Maggie rarely if ever comes to me on her own. Unless I have a treat or pet her a lot, and even then she runs from me straight to Karl after she eats the treat. I think personally she likes him more because he always smells good, and she migrates to him for that reason. He smells like a man, but with a nice cologne smell. It is addictive to me, so I figure maybe she is wired the same way. Or maybe she senses he is calm, and she is attracted to that. Or maybe she doesn't like to be petted that much after all. I have noticed that when I use the bio-tuner (which relaxes me and almost puts me to sleep) or when I am half asleep in my bed, she does migrate to me. She'll lay on me purring, giving me head butts with her face. So she likes me when I'm at my most relaxed.

We did have a dilemma with Maggie the last few weeks. We had all been letting her in our bedrooms at night on and off, and she got used to it. But she would keep us awake, playing and swatting at us in the middle of the night. So we would start closing the door to her, but she would set up camp outside one or more doors. She would cry and howl, then throw her body desperately against the door, making it shudder. Hello, sleepless nights. We are living in an open plan townhouse that has no doors on the first floor. The upstairs has a door to each of the bedrooms, but that's about it. So we didn't have a room downstairs to shut her into. The kitchen and living room both have no door, and there was no door at the bottom of the steps to keep her from going up the stairs to the second floor where we all sleep.

I bought a baby gate, but she flew over top of it within the first minute I set it up. Sailed right over top of it like a light footed reindeer. Then we started to build a wall for her downstairs made of cardboard boxes stuffed with books, odd boxes filled with Christmas trees, and pillows stuffed in the crevices of the wall for added safety. Each night Maggie would find a way through the wall. For two weeks Karl or Thalia made modifications, and then finally I couldn't take it any more. I was laying awake one night for a few hours after Maggie broke through the wall and was laying pretty much on my face purring contentedly. I brainstormed as many possible solutions as I could, and the next morning I built a new wall. I knew it was solid after I made it, and I devised an easy way for us to get through it by swinging a bathroom door open and closed as a part of the wall. So everyone is happy now, and we are finally sleeping peacefully through the night.

We're getting Maggie spayed in less than a week, so she will calm down significantly. I'm looking forward to her being a lap cat more than a ball of energy with ninja claws. Her big day is coming up this Monday.